100 Dirty Riddles with Answers That Will Make Adults Blush
Riddle: What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?
Answer: A seatbelt
Riddle: What’s at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?
Answer: A toothbrush
Riddle: What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
Answer: Toothpaste
Riddle: I’m hard and hairy on the outside but soft and wet on the inside. What am I?
Answer: A coconut
Riddle: What’s long, hard, and full of seamen?
Answer: A submarine
Riddle: I grow in a bed, first white then red, and the plumper I get, the better women like me. What am I?
Answer: A strawberry
Riddle: What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
Answer: A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Riddle: I’m spread out before being eaten. Your tongue gets me off. Sometimes people lick my nuts. What am I?
Answer: Peanut butter
Riddle: What’s messy and can be seen coming a mile away?
Answer: A tornado
Riddle: Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Donald Trump has a small one. And Madonna doesn’t have one. What is it?
Answer: A last name
Riddle: What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?
Answer: Legs
Riddle: What’s the speed limit of sex?
Answer: 68 – because at 69, you flip over
Riddle: I’m the highlight of many dates. I’m especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?
Answer: A bowling ball
Riddle: What’s beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?
Answer: The lawn
Riddle: I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?
Answer: A crane
Riddle: What’s in a man’s pants that you just won’t find in a girl’s dress?
Answer: Pockets
Riddle: You play with it at night and it vibrates. What is it?
Answer: A cell phone
Riddle: Most people prefer these over me. They have curves in all the right places and what I also have none of. What are they?
Answer: Grapes
Riddle: Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being on the bottom, and it always involves a bed. What is it?
Answer: A bunk bed
Riddle: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?
Answer: A tent
Riddle: What’s the best part of your body to put into a pie?
Answer: Your teeth
Riddle: Every man has one. Some are big, some are small. It feels great when you blow it, but it drips if you aren’t careful. What is it?
Answer: A nose
Riddle: I come with a great pair, and I’m easy to get wet. What am I?
Answer: Eyes
50 Hard Riddles with Answers That Will Challenge Even Adults
Riddle: People come all over me, but I’m no victim. What am I?
Answer: The red carpet
Riddle: I’m long, hard, and have a nail at the end. What am I?
Answer: A fingernail
Riddle: What’s soft and wet on the inside while hard and hairy on the outside? The word begins with “c,” ends in “t,” and there’s a “u” and an “n” between them.
Answer: A coconut
Riddle: I have a stiff shaft, and my tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?
Answer: An arrow
Riddle: What does a dog do that a man steps into?
Answer: Pants
Riddle: What’s the difference between “Ooooooh!” and “Aaaaaah!”?
Answer: About three inches
Riddle: If I miss, I might hit your bush. It’s my job to stuff your box. When I come, it’s news. What am I?
Answer: A newspaper delivery person
Riddle: You slide your fingers across me first thing in the morning. You play with me when you’re bored. I love to be filled with liquid. What am I?
Answer: A smartphone
Riddle: What’s a four-letter word that ends in “k” and means the same as intercourse?
Answer: Talk
Riddle: I start with a “p” and end with “o-r-n.” I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I?
Answer: Popcorn
Riddle: You must blow me to play with me. What am I?
Answer: A balloon
Riddle: What gets wetter when things get steamy?
Answer: Steamboats
Riddle: What’s long and hard and has the word ‘cum’ in it?
Answer: Cucumber
Riddle: I have a head, shaft, but no balls. What am I?
Answer: A screw
Riddle: When I go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit and not swallow. What am I?
Answer: A dentist
Riddle: I’m great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
Answer: Gloves
Riddle: What does a bunny use to keep his fur neat?
Answer: A harebrush
Riddle: What’s white, gooey, and sells like crazy?
Answer: Toothpaste
Riddle: I’m a word that begins with the letter “P” and ends with “O-R-N.” Prostitutes do it for money, but I do it for free. What am I?
Answer: Popcorn
Riddle: What’s the best thing about gardening?
Answer: Getting down and dirty with your hoes
Riddle: I can be simple or I can be complicated. I can be found in your pants or in your shirt. When I’m soft, I’m not very interesting, but when I’m hard, I shine. What am I?
Answer: A button
Riddle: What do an eggplant, a banana, and a hot dog have in common?
Answer: Guys can’t find them on their own bodies
Riddle: What has a head, a shaft, is shaped like a stick and is long and hard?
Answer: A cane
Riddle: Men get me easily, especially when they are drunk, but women have a hard time getting me. What am I?
Answer: A cab
Riddle: What do you insert in a small hole and twist all around?
Answer: A Q-tip
Riddle: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
Answer: One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year
Riddle: I’m usually six inches long, works great when jerked, and works well with milk. What am I?
Answer: A cookie (for dunking)
Riddle: What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms?
Answer: Melt them into a tire and call it a Goodyear
Riddle: What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb
Riddle: I go in hard and come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?
Answer: Bubblegum
Riddle: What does a Rubik’s cube and a penis have in common?
Answer: The longer you play with them, the harder they get
Riddle: What’s long, pink, and drags on the ocean floor?
Answer: Pinocchio’s bath toy
Riddle: What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Answer: Beef strokin’ off
Riddle: What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
Answer: There are twenty of them
Riddle: Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Answer: Ken came in another box
100+ Fun & Easy What Am I Riddles With Answers
Riddle: What goes in dry and hard but comes out wet and soft?
Answer: Pasta
Riddle: What four-letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k,” and if you can’t get it you can always just use your hands?
Answer: Fork
Riddle: I’m a fun toy for him and her. I vibrate, operate on batteries, and I’m guaranteed to put a smile on your face. What am I?
Answer: An electric toothbrush
Riddle: What’s the process of applying for a job at Hooters?
Answer: They just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out”
Riddle: What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Answer: Thanks for coming!
Riddle: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
Answer: A dicktator
Riddle: What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
Answer: A hooker can wash her crack and resell it
Riddle: Why did the snowman suddenly smile?
Answer: He heard the snowblower coming
Riddle: What do you call two jalapeños getting it on?
Answer: Fucking hot
Riddle: Why is a game of cards like a woman’s breast?
Answer: One suck and it’s game over
Riddle: What’s the difference between your wife and your job?
Answer: After five years, your job still sucks
Riddle: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates?
Answer: A tearjerker
Riddle: What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?
Answer: A microwave doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out
Riddle: Why do women have orgasms?
Answer: Just another reason to moan, really
Riddle: What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair between his two front teeth?
Answer: A glad-he-ate-her
Riddle: Why is air a lot like sex?
Answer: Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any
Riddle: What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
Answer: A genealogist looks up your family tree, whereas a gynecologist looks up your family bush
Riddle: Why did God give men penises?
Answer: So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up
Riddle: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Answer: Lick-a-lot-a-pus
Riddle: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
Answer: A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face
Riddle: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
Answer: One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit
Riddle: Why do walruses love a Tupperware party?
Answer: They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal
